The View From Here

It's funny the things you hear sometimes. Especially about yourself. You know, those little qualities you never expected someone to notice or that you have actually never noticed about yourself. For instance, I never noticed how when I'm lying or telling a joke, the left side of my mouth slowly starts to creep up into a crooked smile until my mother told me.

Other times, people notice things about you that are true, but take them completely out of context. It's like when you suffer from resting bitch face. You could be the nicest person on the planet, but just because of that face, people automatically assume the worst of you. It's not your fault; it's just how your face is!

I recently had something very similar happen to me. No, it wasn't due to resting bitch face. Apparently, I come off as a lesbian or gay. DISCLAIMER-THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY. However, if you couldn't tell from the weekly crush I post every week on here or my several pins on Pinterest involving a shirtless Channing Tatum and a suited up Tom Hiddleston, I am completely and utterly straight. So, where did this assumption come from?

Personally, I have no friggin' idea. However, after speaking with others about this, it has to do with how I present myself. To others, I come off very self-assured and independent. From this, they think this may have caused others to think I was not straight. Of course, I wasn't offended by this. Instead, I became rather intrigued. Are we really still at that point in time where if a woman shows an ounce of self-confidence she is automatically dubbed a lesbian?

For me to hear this, it is just plain sad. Are we so afraid of independence that we have to automatically classify it as something? Heaven forbid a straight woman know exactly what she wants and how she will obtain it! THE HORROR!

I asked a couple of people about this. It was odd, just outright asking people if I came off as a lesbian. A lot said no, but they could understand where the thought came from. They could understand where people could be getting this idea. One thing they mentioned was how I dressed. Ok- I'm gonna be honest here. I have excellent taste in clothing. That's just the truth! But, most of my wardrobe is black. Pale people can just rock black clothes, ok! You would have thought they would have placed me in the "goth" category, but nope! Straight to the lesbian assumption! It also doesn't help that I dress a bit more masculine than most women.

No, I'm not wearing button downs and jeans that are saggy in the butt (more power to you if you can rock that look). I just like men's jackets more than women's. When you have shoulders and boobs as big as mine, you begin to understand my reasoning.

Another thing they pointed out- I don't hold back. I'm assuming that they mean I'm an extremely blunt person who doesn't deal in crap, but facts. Again, saying what you think must still be considered a hellish crime in this day and age!

All in all, self-confidence and how a person dresses should not be a factor when determining someone's sexual orientation. And how right is it to lump someone into a stereotypical category? I'm sure there are plenty of women who aren't straight who would feel the same way. Not to mention, this is just demeaning towards an entire gender. I didn't realize this was the time of the Tudors and if you spoke out of turn as a woman you would be cast as a shrew.

And, honestly, you shouldn't be trying to "figure" it out anyway! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Or, if you really want to know, you could always ask. It would be better than asking everyone the person associates with and then that specific individual finding out from their peers.

In saying this, my final conclusion is that race, intelligence, drive, personal style, confidence, creed, religion, and familial upbringing are not equal to sexual orientation.

Love,

Heldie