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Altered State

Kristen Heldenbrand
Feb 22, 2018
5 min read

"The way I see it, if you're out drinking and you're assaulted, you pretty much put yourself in that situation."

Today, I had one of the most heartbreaking conversations regarding sexual assault. I found myself completely dumbfounded with the utter ignorance of this individual. Furthermore, I could barely stomach the fact that this person was a woman. All day, this discussion has lingered in the back of my mind. I've felt angry, disgusted, and ultimately, puzzled.

Does she know that in America, someone is assaulted every 98 seconds? Does she know that women between the ages of 16-19 are four times more likely to be the victims of attempted rape, rape, or sexual assault? Based off our conversation, I think not. As a result of my own frustration and the demeaning way in which this woman addressed victims of sexual assault, I've decided that maybe it's time for a Love, Heldie crash course on sexual assault and why it's NOT OKAY IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.

To begin, let's just start with some basic definitions that will be discussed at length today.

Rape - Forced sexual intercourse including both psychological coercion and physical force. Forced sexual intercourse means vaginal, anal, or oral penetration by the offender(s). This category also includes where the penetration is from a foreign object, such as a bottle. Includes attempted rape, male and female victims, and both heterosexual and same sex rape. Attempted rape includes verbal threats of rape (Bureau of Justice Statistics).

Sexual Assault - A wide range of victimizations, separate from rape or attempted rape. These crimes include attacks or attempted attacks generally involving unwanted sexual contact between victim and offender. Sexual assaults may or may not involve force and include such things as grabbing or fondling. Sexual assault also includes verbal threats (Bureau of Justice Statistics).

Everybody got that down? Good deal. Do we notice how both of these definitions are terrible and that any human being regardless of race, religion, creed and favorite boy band from the 90s should not wish these atrocities on someone else? Yeah? Well, people are actually the worst and sexual violence has become deeply rooted in our culture.

Since the election of our current president and the outing of Harvey Weinstein, sexual assault has graced multiple headlines, drudging up questions regarding the prevalence of said crimes and how to prevent further acts of sexual violence from happening. For me, the first thing that must be discussed is America’s rape culture.

What is rape culture, you may ask? Rape culture is defined as an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetrated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety (Southern Connecticut University).

Let's take a look at some films for examples of rape culture.

Beauty and the Beast- This one should be fairly obvious. The beast keeps a woman against her will and while being held captive, she manages to "fall in love" with her captor. Normal, every day kind of relationship. While living with the beast, Belle witnesses his violent outbursts all the while being forced into seclusion from her family and the outside world. Two words- ABUSIVE

RELATIONSHIP.

American Pie- The American Pie series focuses on three main concepts: dudes, booze, and boobs. During these riveting films, we witness a gang of men searching for sexual satisfaction and if they don't get laid, then it's just a sad time for everyone and women are prudes for declining sexual advances. But not to worry, every guy gets to have sex. That was a close one!

Revenge of the Nerds- The main nerd, Lewis, dresses up in a costume that a jock was wearing and proceeds to have sex with the jock's girlfriend in a carnival fun house. The cheerleader doesn't know this isn't her boyfriend. When she discovers that she slept with Lewis, everything is fine and dandy and she leaves her current boyfriend for Lewis. In case you were wondering, the act of Lewis pretending to be her boyfriend and having sex with her is rape. She didn't consent to sex with Lewis; she thought she gave her consent to her boyfriend. Just so we're clear.

Sixteen Candles- Let's just get one thing straight- Jake Ryan is the absolute worst. First off, he starts pursuing Sam while he's in a relationship with Caroline. Gross. Then, at a party Caroline throws at his home, he allows super geek Ted to take his drunk girlfriend home. What a class act! Oh yeah! As a reward for taking Caroline home, Ted has sex with Caroline after taking photos of her as she goes in and out of consciousness.

These examples of rape culture are not only limited to film. You could check out Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines," Justin Bieber's "What Do You Mean," or "U.O.E.N.O" by Rick Ross (he literally says "Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain't even know it. I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it.").

Rape culture isn't just limited to song lyrics or plots in a movie. Many instances of rape culture can be found within our own judicial system. Does anyone recall People v. Turner? Taking place in the Santa Clara Superior Court, athlete Brock Turner was convicted of three counts of sexual assault in 2015. According to court documents, Turner was caught by two Stanford students sexually assaulting an intoxicated and unconscious woman. When approached by the two witnesses, Turner fled the scene and was later arrested at Stanford University.

Brock Turner was originally indicted with five charges: two for rape, two for felony sexual assault, and one for attempted rape. After a plead of not guilty at his arraignment and after the review of DNA testing, the two rape charges were dismissed. After his trial, Turner was convicted of all three remaining charges. Now, here's the kicker. These convictions amounted to fourteen years of jail time. Turner managed to scrape up a measly six months in the Santa Clara County jail with three years of probation to follow. Of course, Turner ended up on the sex offender registry and was ordered to complete a mandatory rehab for sex offenders.

Instead of focusing on the fact that a woman was assaulted and the offender convicted (minuscule conviction, mind you), the trial began to focus on the consumption of alcohol. How much did they drink? Where were they? What was she wearing? My question- WHY DOES IT MATTER?

Contrary to popular belief, alcohol does not walk and talk. Alcohol doesn't wear strappy dresses, watches, or carry a cell phone. Alcohol does not commit sexual assault. Tight skirts do not constitute sexual attention. Just because you think someone looks hot doesn't mean that you can get in their pants. Being intoxicated as a woman isn't an open casting call for anyone and everyone to have sex with you. Alcohol isn't the bad guy and clothing isn't an invitation.

Being a woman that attends bars and enjoys an alcoholic beverage or two, not once have I thought "Well, I've had a couple drinks! Really hoping someone takes advantage of me!" Never once have I put on a skirt and boots, walked outside and said, "I'm honestly so excited for someone to whistle or bark at me from their car window!"

It is time for the conversation of sexual assault to change. No more "locker room talk," no more "I was really drunk." Stop the excuses and call a spade a spade. Rape culture does exist. Rape does occur. Sexual assault is a very real and persistent thing. Women are not objects. We were not created to be groped, to be demeaned, or to fulfill your sexual fantasies. We are not Barbies to be dressed and bent this and that way. Women are intelligent. Women are athletic. Women are leaders. Women are heroes. Women have always been this way and now, women are done with your bullsh*t.